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The Bad, the Worse and the Worst Movies
Brett Walther
January 19, 2002
There's that fatal moment in any dull movie when you consult your watch. After the first glance, there's no turning back. Regardless of how slowly the movie seemed to be going before this point, the film will seem to drag on interminably afterwards.
I think I was around half-an-hour into watching Stephen Spielberg's "A.I." that I reached this point.
I had gone to the premiere of the film when it was released last summer, having thought the previews looked promising.
Imagine my frustration when I pick up the newspaper the next day to find that "A.I." has received heaps of critical acclaim and is praised for its outstanding direction and script.
I like to think of myself as perhaps a little more than the average armchair critic. I have a few years of writing film reviews for the University of Western Ontario's Gazette under my belt, and I've seen more than my share of pretty bad movies. Usually, my opinions tended to fall in line with the mainstream critics. However, my designation of "A.I." as totally and utterly unwatchable made me-for the first time-doubt my ability as a reviewer. How could I be so far off the mark as far as the "professionals" are concerned?
Thestinkers.com hails itself as "the best worst movie site ever created", and they're probably right on the mark. My faith in my film reviewing ability became fully restored after I consulted their complete list of the worst films of all time: "100 Years, 100 Stinkers". Many of the films that made this listing also rank among the most painful viewing experiences I have ever had the misfortune of enduring. This feature is a parody of the American Film Institute's 1990 "100 Years, 100 Movies" best films of all time list.
"Battlefield Earth" steals the honours as the worst film of the Twentieth Century, ably supported by other atrocious productions, including "Ishtar", the "Look Who's Talking" sequels, and "Batman and Robin".
Of course, a few of the movies fall into the "so bad they're good" category. Among these are the infamous Ed Wood films of the 1950's. The B-movie kind is represented well on this list, including "Plan 9 From Outer Space," the plot of which is summarized on the site and has to be seen to be believed. The early Madonna movie "Who's that Girl" also falls under this heading. If in the right frame of mind, these movies have some entertainment value. Just not necessarily the same kind of entertainment the directors of these travesties had intended while the film was in production…
Also featured on this site is a link to vote for the Worst Films of 2001. It looks as though Tom Green's "Freddy Got Fingered", Mariah Carey's "Glitter" and the Wayans Brothers' "Scary Movie 2" are poised to take home the "honours" this year, which are announced in March of 2002. You can cast ballots for individual categories, recognizing abominably bad Acting, Direction and Soundtracks. Particularly amusing is the category of "Worst Fake Accent", from which the nominees include Nicholas Cage in "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" and Freddie Prinze Jr. in "Summer Catch". As well, you can vote for the "Most Annoying On-Screen Group", making your selection from "the Lucy Impersonators That Don't Look a Thing Like Lucy" in "Rat Race", and the "4/5ths of 'Nsync" that appear in "On the Line" amongst others.
Apart from the failure to mention "A.I." amongst the nominees for the individual categories of the Worst of 2001, the fact that I shared the opinions of the public whose votes were tabulated to formulate the "100 Years, 100 Stinkers" list was very reassuring.
Check out www.thestinkers.com to see if your definition of good cinema stacks up against the opinion held by your fellow armchair critics!
Brett Walther is the Coordinator of the Community Access Program. He supervises the CAP Youth who provide one-on-one Internet assistance in each of the branches of the Oxford County Library.
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